If I can’t send out one article a month, juggle a visual media team, and take care of myself, how will I be able to support a family? This is what my brain does to me when I find myself overwhelmed during my lunch breaks. Will I have the capacity to do what my heart desires and be dependable for my loved ones? Do I have the range, or does my ADHD place a cap on how much I can endure?
“God won’t put anything on you that you can’t handle.” How many times have you heard that? Was it more stressful than encouraging at times? Sure, it always comes down to priorities, but I want to make time for everything. Excelling in my career, being a reliable friend, godfather, and potential partner. I read somewhere that men find value in dependability. I was resistant to it until now; I only wanted to be responsible for myself because I was terrified at the chance of letting people down. As someone who struggles with trust, I understand the value of having someone to trust me enough to get it done. Trust is sacred. Trusting the process is just as important. I’ve been training for a half-marathon, and something I’ve learned is that if you want to run faster, you have to run speed intervals; running as fast as you can on and off incrementally at short distances. This is how you increase your speed. Testing our current capacity is how we get better. Don’t just take it from me, B4 sums it up better than I can.
And Another Thing!
Since you’re here, there are a few other things that have been rattling my brain for the last few weeks:
I thought reconciliation would end the grief of the relationship. You never match that first high, do you?
34 is too dangerous to pick up skateboarding? Gotta be.
I don’t want to slow dance with strangers anymore. When did I limit my capacity for intimate moments?
Is what you’re doing worth it if the church folk on Facebook don’t share it?
Why do I need to connect my appliances to WiFi?
Do you think Westside Gunn really cooked a brick in an air fryer? How many tries did it take?
That’s it. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Life is messy, ya know? Here’s a random ass playlist to match this random bag of thoughts. Talk to you soon!
Rather Be Home Tote Bag
Be ready bc whenever you end up in LA, we skating in Venice
Sending this tote bag to my mom so she can buy it for me as a graduation gift 😭🫶🏼 I’m pinching pennies over here, Nick but goddamn it that bag is getting purchased.
Also, great article. Very human and just know you not alone out here. Do the skateboarding! Life is too short not to try. I pray you get everything you want out of this life and more. 🤍
Side note: as a believer in God, the “God doesn’t put more on you than you can handle” line doesn’t help me at all. It’s actually super depressing bc excuse me… I didn’t ask to be on Gods strongest soldiers list for the last 10 years?! lol